Maybe Zack Greinke is a Tool After All

I went to the Los Angeles Dodgers game on Tuesday night hoping to experience Yasiel Puig-mania. What I ended up seeing was Puig getting beaned in the nose by Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Ian Kennedy, lie on home plate for about five minutes while Dodgers trainers inspected him and then get ejected one inning later as part of a brawl that he helped create.

You’ve probably seen it by now. If not, watch it below. If you don’t want to watch the 7-minute video, watch the GIF over and over again because its awesome.

Basically, Kennedy nailed Puig in the bottom of the sixth, Dodgers starter Zack Greinke retaliated against D’backs catcher Miguel Montero in the top of seventh (causing the benches to clear) and then Kennedy came back and hit Greinke in the shoulder in the bottom of next inning (and the benches not only cleared – they started swinging at each other).


If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because it is. The Dodgers were in a similar situation two months ago when Greinke hit Carlos Quentin of the San Diego Padres, causing Quentin to charge the mound and break Greinke’s collarbone. As a Dodgers fan I was aaaangry, Chris Farley-style, seeing our $150 million investment stranded on the DL, especially since it seemed as though Greinke wasn’t intentionally trying to hit Quentin. It was a full count in a 2-1 game, not a situation that calls for a plunking. Quentin also notoriously crowds the plate, and has lead the league in HBPs before.

But Quentin said after the game that he was set off because of his past history with Greinke, when he was with the White Sox and Zack was with the Royals. Greinke had hit him three times previously and apparently had said something to him before he threw that unfortunate pitch.

I find Quentin more believable after witnessing what I did on Tuesday. Greinke didn’t have to hit Montero to avenge Puig. Kennedy’s pitch was obviously an accident, since the bases were empty and there were two strikes when he did it. But for whatever reason (perhaps because Puig is the only decent offensive player the Dodgers have at the moment), Greinke decided that he needed to get his boy’s back.

I understand that in baseball, a pitcher has the right to throw at someone when the other pitcher hits one of his own guys. But if you’re Greinke, wouldn’t you want to be a tad careful considering what just happened to you two months ago? And with the Dodgers desperately needing a win, wouldn’t you not want to put anyone on base carelessly?

I would say yes and no, respectively, to the above questions. So it leaves me to believe that Greinke might actually be somewhat of a turd of a person. He doesn’t look like the cheeriest of people in his Dodgers profile picture, and he’s always been known as a recluse/malcontent due to his anxiety.

Doesn't exactly have the nicest of smiles, does he?

You mad, bro?

Mind you, this is just a hypothesis. I’ve never met the guy in person, so he might actually be the nicest human being you could stumble upon. If that’s the case, though, he’s still putting his team in danger with his antics. So Zack, for the love of all that is Dodger Blue, please keep it over the plate and just go out and win some damn ballgames.