The NBA Not-Stars Team
The NBA just had its All-Star game, covered beautifully by WestRider here. The thing about the All-Star game though is that the guys in it are already famous and hog the highlights on SportsCenter. What if the NBA were to create a midseason classic for the “glue guys,” towel-wavers and the bodies in starting lineup tunnels? Below is what the teams would look like. It’s a list of players that have played less minutes in the entire season than Lebron James plays nightly.
In no way is this post denigrating the skills of these players, because I know they would all whoop my ass in a game of one-on-one. But be honest, you have probably not heard of most of them. That’s about to change as they are enshrined in SpreeGoogs lore.
Courtney Forston, Los Angeles Clippers
Season Stats: 4 GP (games played), 11.3 MPG (minutes per game), 4.3 PPG (points per game)
Can’t fault the dude for not getting much run on a team that has Chris Paul, Mo Williams and Chauncey Billups. And Eric Bledsoe. Good lord, how many point guards do the Clippers have?
Armon Johnson, Portland Trail Blazers
Season Stats: 1 GP, 5.0 MPG, 2.0 PPG
I was getting a little worried I wasn’t going to find someone to fill this spot, as most of the shooting guards in the West play decent minutes since there’s not many studs outside of Kobe. But then I noticed Armon. Most of his action came in this victory celebration dance.
Luke Walton, Los Angeles Lakers
Season Stats: 8 GP, 7.6 MPG, 1.3 PPG
Still trying to figure out how Luke Walton has an NBA contract. He has perfected the art of jumping-in-the-air-to-pass-but-then-realizes-he-doesn’t-have-any-hangtime-so-he-throws-a-terrible-pass-and-turns-the-ball-over.
Hassan Whiteside, Sacramento Kings
Season Stats: 2 GP, 3.0 MPG, 0.0 PPG
Poor Hassan hasn’t scored this season. To be fair, he did spend part of the season in the D-League with the Reno Bighorns. He did score there, averaging 7.8 points per game.
Greg Smith, Houston Rockets
Season Stats: 2 GP, 11.0 MPG, 1.0 PPG
The opportunity is there, as he only has underachieving Hasheem Thabeet and Jordan Hill ahead of him at backup center to Sam Dalembert. You can do it Greg!
Ben Uzoh, Cleveland Cavaliers
Season Stats: 4 GP, 11.3 MPG, 4.3 PPG
Ben got a call-up when Kyrie Irving went down with a concussion. He only stuck with the team 10 days, so there wasn’t even time to get a picture of him in a Cavs jersey. I am still putting him on the Not-Stars team because he got did dirty.
Terrel Harris, Miami Heat
Season Stats: 9 GP, 10.2 MPG, 3.3 PPG
One cool thing about Harris is that he has played in the Basketball Bundesliga in Germany. Say that with your best German accent.
Christian Eyenga, Cleveland Cavaliers
Season Stats: 6 GP, 13.8 MPG, 1.5 PPG
Christian, it’s probably best that you don’t play. Nobody wants to try to be the replacement small forward in Cleveland.
Daniel Orton, Orlando Magic
Season Stats: 2 GP, 3.0 MPG, 1.0 PPG
That’s right Daniel, and you stay on the bench! Got to make sure my boi Ryan Anderson keeps hitting 3-pointers for my fantasy team.
Eduardo Najera, Charlotte Bobcats
Season Stats: 7 GP, 7.3 MPG, 2.4 PPG
With the final selection to the starting lineups, I wanted to add a little flare. Najera certainly qualifies with his Latin roots and energy. And let’s face it, I had to include someone from the Bobcats on the Not-Stars team. It would have been wrong not to.
Who makes your NBA Not-Stars team?