A Todd MacCulloch Day Mad-Lib Biography
You know how mad-libs work, so before you get started reading the Todd MacCulloch mad-libiography, fill in the 11 blanks at the beginning.
1. Canadian word
2. Body part
3. Most difficult sport you can think of
4. Sports statistics category
5. NBA team
6. Collectable things
9. Characteristic desired in a man
11. Famous Person
Once upon a time, on the only historic day in Canada, Todd Carlyle (not made up) MacCulloch was born in the second ever recorded incident of immaculate conception. A 7-foot , with size 34 feet, hair and beard of red gold and a  like the Lord’s, a young Todd was bound for athletic greatness.
Despite a No. 1 world ranking in  and the love of every Canadian woman, MacCulloch took the greatest show on hardwood to Washington on a basketball scholarship. Todd quickly excelled, leading the Pac 10 in GPA and . After four successful seasons as a Husky, he was taken in the second round of the NBA Draft by the , but declined, choosing to start his own team, the Philadelphia 76ers, named after the number of  he had.
Four years, five MVPs and six championships later, Todd MacCulloch’s feet missed  so they invented  as a reason to move beyond basketball.
Following his brief but spectacular NBA career, MacCulloch went on to dominate a new sport — pinball. His  is legendary on the pinball tour, consisting entirely of 40-year-old men who still live with their parents. In competitive play, the crowds follow him, cheering on the man they call “Big .”
To this day, MacCulloch is considered by most to be the most talented basketball player in history. Even  was quoted saying, “T-Mac taught me everything I know. That dude is the truth.”