11 Things You Could Do Today To Be More Like Todd MacCulloch
Have you looked at your calendar today? It’s the best day since 11-11-1111 and we won’t see a more Todd MacCulloch-y day until 11-11-111111, when he will still be the greatest basketball player multi-sport athlete to ever grace the world of competition. It’s a big day.
On Todd MacCulloch Day, SpreeGoogs would like to challenge the blogosphere to cut the shenanigans and start being more like Todd. Sure, that’s a big request, but Todd MacCulloch was a big guy. Maybe too big of a guy, if you ask his knees.
How can you be more like Todd? Good question. To help kick-start your Todd-formation, I’ve taken the liberty to put together a list of 11 things you could do and out them in the list below:
1. Go Somewhere Where You’re the Tallest Person Around. By A Lot.
Todd was a monster. A MONSTER. To be more like Todd, you need to command the physical awe that he did. For me, this happens at the Laundromat. If you don’t have a laundromat around, try a grade school or a renaissance faire.
2. Play Pinball
Unfortunately Todd’s basketball career was cut short in his prime. Fortunately, we got to enjoy four NBA seasons of Todd’s prime. Also fortunately, Todd is in peak physical shape to be a competitive pinball player. Try the old silver ball today and get in touch with a sport that Todd enjoys both leisurely and competitively.
3. Command the Double-Team
To be clear, two people cover Todd MacCulloch like two paddleboats cover the Atlantic, but you won’t know what it’s like to be Toddy Mac until you do something that demands extra attention from those wishing to stop you. Be creative.
4. Add “MacCulloch” to Your Microsoft Word Dictionary
I know for sure it was a pain for me to type T-Mac’s name so much and for 2007 Word to not understand it. It must be worse for him. I’m sure he has “MacCulloch” in his Word dictionary to prevent the annoying red squiggles when he types his name. Is “MacCulloch in my Word dictionary? Yes. Is SpreeGoogs in his? We can only hope.
5. Lead the NCAA in Field Goal Percentage
Todd collected NCAA field goal percentage titles like Scrooge McDuck collected gold coins. He probably swims in all his trophies too. He does it faster than anyone else could ever imagine. Whatever you do, take some shots today, but only take the ones you’re going to make.
6. Acquire Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disorder
This one’s for the real go-getters.
7. Run the Pick-And-Roll
Sure, you won’t have Allen Iverson keeping the ball once you roll, but it’s hard to remember Todd on the offensive end without recalling the effect his picks set on a defense. Few players have ever been able to command an offense set via screens, but you can at least try today. Set a pick for someone without expecting anything in return.
8. Move to a Different Country and Become a National Icon
Todd grew up in Canada. Canada. But as soon as he could, he packed things up and moved to America. Why? Because Canada couldn’t handle him and they don’t play basketball there. America can’t handle him either, but at least we have hoops.
9. Rack Up a Double-Double
Sure, Todd preferred the points-and rebounds type, but you can find two things to ten of today.
10. Cameo on a Major Television Show
11. Watch This Video and Suggest Something New in the Comments